I don't really understand what happened to me last night. I ended up not being able to even sleep since I could not calm my mind. All kinds of things started to swirl around up there in my mind that I just could not stop.
The only thing I thought of to do was think back to what all has changed or been different about my past few days that was out of the normal.
My daughter-in-law is getting ready for a Holiday 'Photo' shoot she at a little shop in the town where they live. She needed holiday decorations and so I invited her to my 'attic' to dig through the many boxes I have stored up there.
In the course of her 'looking' she found a box of photos. I have tried hard to NOT store photos in my crummy attic. It get super hot and super cold up there. But there was a box. How did that happen? The panic of trying to get 'stuff' out of my way and it was handed up and stored up there. I just could not stop thinking about it. I knew I could probably not get the box down along and didn't even think to ask for help before my son and his wife took off!
So for hours and hours I sat trying to relax. My husband was sound asleep on the floor. I didn't want to wake him up and ask for help. So I just sat there and keep thinking.....
I was not able to sleep very well..and had this box of photos on my mind!
So I wake up, make my coffee. I am thinking I need to put back the boxes of the stuff my daughter in law decided to not take for her photo booth.
I even put on my tennis shoes, better to climb that damn attic ladder in shoes I think! Ladder is pulled down and UP I go!
I look at that box it has even lost it's lid, so that makes me think it has been there longer than I think. Snow can and does blow in that attic. I think to myself I don't even want to LOOK what condition they were in!
I looked around a bit in the attic. And then thought I would just make my way down balancing this large office box full of photos! I was about 1/4 of the way down when the box moved off the one ladder rung I was using to keep it and me balanced....I started to go backwards, leaned up and pushed the box back up on the top ledge of the attic floor. I tried it again and this time just about was to the bottom when I lost my footing [you can not see the rungs with a box in your hands] and DOWN I WENT!
My right heel hit the floor first and then my right hip on the door frame of the closet door [OH YES....this whole ladder is in a 'closet' to boot! DEAR LORD]
I caught the falling box and not one package of photos were lost!
I could see by the top package, they were photos taken when my youngest daughter was born. All hospital photos of all the kids holding here and a few of my mother-in -law and father-in-law holding her too! I am still wondering when that box made it up to the attic!
I think it also bothered me that I was being so irresponsible. I think it got to me. After some of the issues I found in my mother's house last winter when I needed to purge and empty it, I guess I knew that if my kids would have found those.... well... they would have talked about ME like I talked about my mother!!
New plan. Empty the attic and find a way to organize, store or purge what is up there and in very drawer and closet before I am dead!
I hope I can live for another 40 years... cause it will take me that long I am sure!
